Admitting my limits is worship.
I’m re-acknowledging that I am not God or a god.
I am not Saviour or a saviour.
I am finite.
I cannot teleport and be with each I love.
I cannot meet the needs of those in danger, in abuse, in poverty.
I cannot even meet the needs of the four most important men in my life.
I cannot honor my mother and father as a daughter should.
I cannot be the best of me for everyone.
I am finite.
These needs don’t overpower Your command to be still and know You are God.
These attacks on humanity, and tragic unpreventable pain, and heartwrecking schisms in community…
They are Yours to respond to.
I am not God, or a god.
Admitting my limits is worship.
As is acts of service as Your hands and feet
Worship is trusting in Your love for individuals. For humanity.
Mystery that scares, because I cannot CANNOT see Your love in ISIS and the bleeding,
Or in the 12 year old trafficked girl who does not want ‘rescued.’
How does one trust in a God who verbalizes love and care for even a sparrow, and yet allows these?
But, I will not box You into a not-GOD-god.
I will not find a Jesus-shaped-idol of only the attributes I approve You shall have.
This is not worship.
Today, I can only cry.
Today, worship looks like resignation.
Resigning from my post of pleasing others.
Resigning to my limits.
Resigning my mind’s urging to find meaning in the Earth’s suffering
Resigning to Your LORDship.
Because, I do know that.
I know you are LORD.
You call for allegience to You.
You only. Not replicas I have made.
You call for faith. A choice to believe in the character of You. (Sept 2015)
